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Author Topic: Cheesy fishing jokes anyone?  (Read 9440 times)
Get Hooked
Newbie
*
Posts: 2

« Reply #15 on: Apr 09, 2010, 05:52 AM »

What did the fish say when he hit a wall?huh??     DAM!
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JCFISH0314
Jr. Member
**
Posts: 10
Location: Wilkes Barre PA



« Reply #16 on: Apr 09, 2010, 04:35 PM »

I cheated and stole this from a joke site... but it is a cheesy fishing joke.

A woman goes into Wal-mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-mart associate standing there with dark glasses on. She asks, "Excuse me sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind, but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it all on the counter anyway. He said "That's a 6' graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line. It's a good all around rod and reel, and it's $20." She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for, so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register. And in the meantime, the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed, but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was she. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She asks, "But didn't you say it was $20?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20, the duck call is $3, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50!
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rainbowrunner
Jr. Member
**
Posts: 36
Location: Fabulus Fabius


« Reply #17 on: May 05, 2010, 03:30 PM »

This is a visual joke, so you have to picture it.

Me:  Did you hear about the one-armed fisherman?
You:  No.
Me, holding up one hand:  Caught a fish this long.
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LadyLaker
Sr. Member
***
Posts: 632
Location: Bridgton, Maine



« Reply #18 on: May 12, 2010, 10:41 AM »

His and Hers Diaries....

In her Diary:
Tonight,I thought my husband was acting weird. We made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping  with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late but he made no comment on it.
Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Nothing". I asked if it was my fault that he was upset. He said, he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me and not to worry about it.
On our way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you too".
When we got home, I felt like I had lost him completely. he just sat there quietly, and watched T.V. He continued to seem distant and absent.
Finally with all the silence around us, I decided to go to bed. about 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love! But I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were elsewhere.
He fell asleep - I cried. .......I don't know what to do!

I'm sure that his thoughts are with someone else.  My life is a disaster!

In his Diary:
My boat wouldn't start today,Can't figure it out, BUT at least I got laid. wink




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gorilla head
Jr. Member
**
Posts: 288

tbe back porch II


« Reply #19 on: May 12, 2010, 05:28 PM »

Had to copy and repost this one from Droberts.......

drobertsinMaryland
Jr. Member



Location: Frederick, Maryland



  Fishing tale
on: Jan 03, 2010, 03:02 PM Reply with quote  

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This guy is 72 years old and loves to fish.

He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."

He looked around and couldn't see any one..  

He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,  "Pick me up."

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a  frog.

The  man said, "Are you talking to me?"

The frog said, "Yes,  I'm talking to you. Pick me up then, kiss me and I' ll turn  into the most beauti ful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I  will be your bride!"

The man looked at the frog for a short time,  reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."

He opened  his pocket, looked at the frog and  said,  "Nah,  at my age I'd rather have a talking  frog."

 
  

That was the best one of the thread. although they were all pretty good. thanks for sharing
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Zorros shack
Jr. Member
**
Posts: 147
This account is closed.


« Reply #20 on: Jun 17, 2010, 04:37 PM »

His and Hers Diaries....

In her Diary:
Tonight,I thought my husband was acting weird. We made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping  with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late but he made no comment on it.
Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Nothing". I asked if it was my fault that he was upset. He said, he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me and not to worry about it.
On our way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you too".
When we got home, I felt like I had lost him completely. he just sat there quietly, and watched T.V. He continued to seem distant and absent.
Finally with all the silence around us, I decided to go to bed. about 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love! But I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were elsewhere.
He fell asleep - I cried. .......I don't know what to do!

I'm sure that his thoughts are with someone else.  My life is a disaster!

In his Diary:
My boat wouldn't start today,Can't figure it out, BUT at least I got laid. wink







That's funny yet gross and funny again. I can a make a realistic duck noise with my mouth.  cheesy
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IceBalls
Jr. Member
**
Posts: 70

I FISH BECAUSE THE VOICES IN MY HEAD TELL ME TO!!


« Reply #21 on: Jun 24, 2010, 08:25 PM »

Sexy blonde is talking to her boyfriend: "Girls don't know nothin' about Ice Fishing, says he".  Oh, Yeah??, she says.....I'll show you!!

So, she goes out and buys all the necessary Ice Fishing gear:  Rods, lures, Auger, Vex, etc, etc.   She drills a hole in the ice and proceeds to fish.  Before long a huge BOOMING voice comes from above:  'THERE ARE NO FISH IN THAT HOLE"..... so she moves all her gear about 100 feet away, drillls another hole, and starts to fish.  Before long the voice comes again "THERE ARE NO FISH IN THAT HOLE" it says.  The blonde looks up to the sky and says " Is that you GOD???"

NO, says the voice.....THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE SKATING RINK!!!!
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slipperybob
Jr. Member
**
Posts: 455
Location: Lil'Can, MN



« Reply #22 on: Jul 15, 2010, 05:12 AM »

Here's some really cheesy ones:

Why cant you borrow anything from a clam?  They're shellfish.

Why is the shark always cast as the bad guy in the movie?  He's not a starfish.

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Slip bobber fishing and ice lounger.

Slipperybob's Wish to Fish and MN Dish...Journal
slipperybob
Jr. Member
**
Posts: 455
Location: Lil'Can, MN



« Reply #23 on: Jul 16, 2010, 12:38 AM »

What's a fisherman's best fishing friend?  A dogfish

What kind of fish are in a mine pit?  Goldfish
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Slip bobber fishing and ice lounger.

Slipperybob's Wish to Fish and MN Dish...Journal
monkeyman2269
Sr. Member
***
Posts: 688

« Reply #24 on: Jul 21, 2010, 08:15 PM »

A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Texas recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?' 'Naw, sir', replied the redneck. 'I ain't got none of them there licenses. You must understand, these here are my pet fish.'

'Pet fish?'

'Yeah.. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take 'em home.'

'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.'

The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, 'It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.'

'O. K.', said the warden. 'I've got to see this!'

The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?'

'Well, what?,' says the redneck.

The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'

'Call who back?'

'The FISH,' replied the warden!

'What fish?,' replied the redneck. ............

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