>Jeff Foxworthy on Michigan
>
>If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18
>inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will
>swim by, you might live in Michigan.
>
>If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights
>each year because the town of Pelston is the coldest spot in the
>nation, you might live in Michigan.
>
>If your local Dairy Queen store is closed from November through
>April, you might live in Michigan
>
>If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the
>year, you might live in Michigan.
>
>If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work
>there, you might live in Michigan.
>
>If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
>forehead, you might live in Michigan.
>
>If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live
>in Michigan.
>
>If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live
>in Michigan.
>
>If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
>dialed a wrong number, you might live in Michigan.
>
>YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Michigander WHEN:
>
>1. "Vacation" means going up north past US-75 for the weekend.
>
>2. You measure distance in hours.
>
>3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
>
>4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back
>again.
>
>5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
>blizzard, without flinching.
>
>6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including
>weddings).
>
>7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave
>both unlocked.
>
>8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how
>to use them.
>
>9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
>
>10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
>with snow.
>
>11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
>road construction.
>
>12. You can identify a southern, eastern, Indiananan, Ohioan and
>Wisconsonian accent.
>
>13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to
>your blue spruce.
>
>14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
>
>15. Down South to you means Indiana
>
>16. A brat (braht) is something you eat.
>
>17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
>
>18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
>
>19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
>
>20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
>
>21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
>
>22. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all
>your Michigan friends.
>
