Rate your Hangover

[Chuckles]

 
1 Star Hangover
 
  No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last
night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole
lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able
to function relatively well. However, you are still
parched. You can drink 10 bottles of water and
still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving
a Cheeseburger and a side of fries.
 
   
   
2 Star Hangover
 
Slight headache. Don't feel sick, but something is definitely
amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and
mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you chug to try and
remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which
is craving a full English breakfast. Last night has wreaked
havoc on your bowels and even though you have a nice demeanor
about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money
because all you really can handle is aimlessly surfing the net
and writing junk e-mails.
 
   
 
   
3 Star Hangover
 
Definite headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a
pace cadet and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you
gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots
you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you
out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in
your bed with a dozen donuts and a liter of coke watching Good
Morning with Richard and Judy. You've had 4 cups of coffee,
a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a liter of diet coke
- yet you haven't peed once.
 
   
 
   
4 Star Hangover
   
Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else
you might honk. You have lost the will to live. Your boss has
already lambasted you for being late and has given you a
lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that
can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot
shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding
the bumper cars), your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like
one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a reject
from the class picture of Moss side secondary school circa
1976. You would give a weeks pay for one the following:
      1. Home time,
      2. A duvet and somewhere to be alone, or
      3. A time machine so you could go back and
          NOT have gone out the night before.
 
   
   
5 Star Hangover     
(aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell)

You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually scaring the employee who sits next to you. Death seems pretty good right now. You can't focus as your eyes are scrunched up against the overpowering glare from your computer screen Rancid vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore, staining your shirt and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth, at least you think it's toothpaste crust. You don't give a d**n either way. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva and your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Talking is not an option. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because all you can manage to do is breathe....very gently.
 
 
By  Kimmie
The Emusing Humor Network

[Pikeguy]

This sounds like a response to my thread in the GOM boat from Friday. lol. I like it .
I'll rate mine....

Friday am after night out to celebrate a college graduation...... 2 star
Sunday am after night out to celebrate different friends wedding...... 1 star(surprisingly enough for the vast amount of tap beer I consumed) 

[archbishop]

im nbot much of a hangover guy anymore bout would have to say ive definitly been in all the stages listed but i believe my body has put up a natural defence against the dreaded hangover before i created a 6 star hangover and put myself in limbo between death and whatever else i am considered at the time i took my last drink lol

[bigredfishing]

5 star hangover could also be known as a tequilla hangover

[Pikeguy]

5 star hangover could also be known as a tequilla hangover

This is true

[archbishop]

5 star hangover could also be known as a tequilla hangover

true but dont forget the all purpose bacheleor party hangover if done correctly its still a 5 star 3 days later    

[bigredfishing]

what would the "i'm 16 and i can drink a handle of vodka/rum/whiskey" rate? remember those days?    I don't

[Pikeguy]

I remember people telling me I did that  and waking up in odd places

[Pasquatch]

what would the "i'm 16 and i can drink a handle of vodka/rum/whiskey" rate? remember those days?    I don't

  STOP MAKING FUN OF ME GUYS! 4 star a few times, 5 scares me...

[archbishop]

wait till college wes 5 will be common not scary lol

[Pasquatch]

Higher education...

[bigredfishing]

Higher education

LMAO!!!!

[bigdave1018]

my worst years ago was at least a ten star. after a night of draft beers[ weds were 1 $ for a 24 ounce draft] mant shots of tequila and then a few too many shots of 14o proof russian vodka, i lost 3 days of my life. i never chucked so much or crapped so much in those 3 days. i lost 20 lbs in 3 days, what a great diet. at least the kitchen sink stayed down lol.

[beerman]

Its not worth going out and drinking unless you wake up w/ a 5 star hangover. I still think that there is still worse, i mean all those say you are at work at some point.

Ill call it the XXX hangover:
You wake up and you are already vomiting! Then while you are doing this you realize that the only reason why you are awake is b/c you are puking. Then you realize that you are still wearing the clothes you had on the night before and you upset them. So not only did you pee your pants you did it in your bed (hopefully its yours) so you cant just role over and go back to sleep. As you slowly rise to your feet again you think wow my head doesn't hurt a bit but then it just hits you like a ton of bricks, finally you just fall over b/c your head feels like it weighs 10x more than the rest of your body. Your stomach roles over and you have to crap NOW. As for going to work/class you then remember that you have to go and are just about to scramble to get out the door, but it is 3pm and you remember you went to sleep after you were suppose to wake up for work/class.  You slowly make your way to the couch not even wanting to drink water b/c you know it will just come out again, and sleep until the next day.  Not only that, but looking back on the night you cant remember a single thing said/done after the 15th jack and coke and you don't remember hooking up with the ugly chick/guy, who in the beginning of the night you were joking w/ your friends saying "man imagine waking up next to something like that.

Now that is a hangover

[bigredfishing]

what about the waking up in COLD puke??  That kinda sucks, especially when its yours, and its all over the little lady laying next to you too .  Only happend once, i learned moderation after that, im lucky i didn't pull a bon scott.  I still feel like an idiot because of that to this day...