Oakland Raider Joke

[raleigh]

OAKLAND, (CA)--Oakland Raiders football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Norv Turner immediately suspended practice and called the police and federal investigators. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.


              Anyone got any more?

[TJ]

A Bronco fan lost a $50 bet on a TV football play.
He lost another $50 on the instant replay.


"Football is a game in which a handful of men run around for one and a half hours watched by millions of people who could really use the exercise".

[TJ]

A Denver Broncos fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Mile High Stadium, until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was.

The guy said, "Yes, that's my wife's seat. We have never missed a game since the Craig Morton days, but now my wife is dead."

The fan offered his sympathy and said it was really too bad that he couldn't find some relative to give the ticket to and enjoy the game together.

"Oh no." the guy said. "They're all at the funeral."

[TJ]

Q: What do they call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle.
 
Q: There are 4 Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving?
A: The police.

Q: Why can't Michael Irvin be in the Cowboy huddle anymore?
A: It's a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.

The team doctor said because of Michael Irvin's fractured wrist, it'll be 6 - 8 weeks before he can video tape a team mate having sex.

The Chicago Bears are trying to trade for Michael Irvin. They got rid of the "Refrigerator" and now they want a "Coke Machine".

It was reported today that the artificial turf in Texas Stadium is being replaced because the Cowboys play much better on "grass".

The Dallas Cowboys have adopted a new "Honor System". "Yes, your Honor", "No, your Honor".

The Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season this year. 12 arrests and 5 convictions.

In a move to strengthen their defense, the Dallas Cowboys today hired a new defensive coordinator, Johnny Cochran.

Q: How do the Cowboys spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

[TJ]

Three men die, and they are in heaven before St. Peter.  St. Peter questioned
each man:
   St. Peter (to the first man): What is your IQ?
   First man: 210.
   St. Peter: Wow!  That's really high, maybe we should discuss the Theory of
Relativity sometime.
   St. Peter (to the second man): What is your IQ?
   Second man: 170.
   St. Peter: Well, that is also good, maybe we could discuss the fundamentals
of Quantum Mechanics sometime.
   St. Peter (to the third man): What is your IQ?
   Third man: 70.
   St. Peter: Well...  How about those Broncos?

[TJ]

There is a story about an MIT student who spent an entire summer going to the
Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt,
walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all
over the field, blowing a whistle, and walking off the field.  At the end of the
summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football team, the referee
walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for
a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field.  The guy wrote his
thesis on this, and graduated.

[bigdave1018]

the raiders were playing the broncos in the am. at noon the whisle blew and the raiders took a break for lunch. 6 plays later the broncos scored!!!!!!!!!

[TJ]

 
That was good man!

How far have the Panthers fallen from a Super Bowl a year ago!