It was...

[sbfpa_Mike]

The paperboy is not very happy because the water is very cold and ..........

[fishin_musician]

this hadn't been his idea of a perfect day either. He whipped out his pocket knife and cut himself free deciding then and there to head over to Louie's Afterhours Bar to see if he could find a poker game.

[vancouvercanuck]

So Johnny walks into the bar and it just so happens that the world series of poker is filiming and he qualified in a online tournement. So Johnny cleans himself up and makes the best vancouvercanuck moneymaker face he could and sits his but down at his table. $20K in chips (that's canadian money by the way) and gets delt a couple of cowboys. Can Johnny be having a better day he thinks? Well, just so happens buddy calls his hand..............

[rgfixit]

Johnny, having bet his 20k Canadian ($1.82 American) was sure he had the winning hand and would soon be able to afford that glass of beer and hotdog he so desperately craved (approximate cost $40k Canadian), but his friend,......

[Webguy]

(maybe friend isn't the right word but anyway) the paperboy, who had spied him across the room was still very upset about that whole bait ordeal, decided to blow his hand by accusing Johnny of cheating. 

[Fat Boy]

It turns out that the cards were actually frozen.  You see, Johnny was slick.  He hid a hand in the freezer so when it was time to call, he grabbed those cards out of the freezer and stuffed his real hand in, saying he had to get his...

[Cider]

salted smelt.  Jonny said "I always enjoy a good snack of frozen salted smelt while playing poker and I don't waste leftover bait.  It reminds me of the time I was...

[treed942000]

frozen to the lake after a light thaw in the daily sun...

[reelcharacter]

with the boxers and a few inches of but-crack showing, until . . .

[Webguy]

the angry croud had enough of his bull and dragged his sorry butt outside and beat him to a pulp while the paper boy smiled and said "and you still owe me 2 dollars!"

[rgfixit]

 Standing there, holding out his hand gesturing to Johnny to hand over the cash, the paperboy said,  "2 dollars Canadian that is, or $.00125 American". Johnny, looking up at the demanding paperboy........

[fishin_musician]

spit in his hand and said "go straight to hades" whereupon the angry mob grabbed Mr. Ringo and ran off to find a strong rope, strong enough for a lynchin'.

[Fat Boy]

And who was carrying the rope?  None other than Thelma Lou, his ex-wife, as she screamed at the top of her huge lungs...

[reubenpa]

I'll get you now you cheatin , too much fishin, liar!!!!

[fishin_musician]

The mob found just the tree they needed right on courthouse square, Preacher Jim put the noose around the doomed man's head and said "speak your last words Jonny Ringo!"