MyFishFinder Forum
The Fisherman's Wharf => Fishing Stories => Topic started by: fishin_musician on Mar 15, 2004, 11:06 PM
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I just had a dangerous idea. You kinda inspired it with some of the inane comments that proceeded this post. What if we started a Short story thread where everyone contributed a sentence! Since I have invented this format I go first. Here Goes!!
It had been a long day on the water and I had just one minnow left, as I hooked it through the lips I noticed that it was missing an eye.
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As I looked at this eye, or should I say lack of eye, I had to wonder about the future of the this last hurrah for me today.
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"I've always done well with one-eyed bait", I thought as I tossed my offering into the depths.
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I watched with eager anticipation as "One Eyed Jack" (as I had just named the little guy) swirled from my sight to the depths below.
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Ithought to myself, come on little guy catch me the big one, when
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to my surprise he came up out of the hole and said I can SEE what your saying.
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He then winked with his one good eye.
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yelled cowabunga and dove back in.
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*t had been a long day f*shing my favor*te r*ver, and * had just one m*nnow left, as * hooked *t through the l*ps * noticed that *t was m*ss*ng an *. Come to th*nk of *t, as * was f*sh*ng for wall*s all day long w*thout a h*t, * th*nk that all of my m*nnows were m*ss*ng the*r *s. All of a sudden, * couldn't see a th*ng. * reached up to my *s and they were gone too! I heard a wh*rr*ng sound above me all of a sudden, and *t became extremely warm. * felt myself l*fted out off of the bank, float*ng up *n the a*r. The be*ngs *ns*de d*d the*r best to calm me down and w*th*n a few m*nutes, my *s were *nserted back *nto my skull. From that point on, I could see very clearly. I was lowered out of the spacecraft and back onto the shoreline of my favorite river. I picked up my rod, reeled in my line to check my bait, and lo and behold, my minnow had both of it's eyes! I cast it out to a likely spot and caught a 24" 'eye (pictured).
(https://www.myfishfinder.com/fishing_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.myfishfinder.com%2Fphotopost%2Fdata%2F500%2F6walleye_24-3-med.JPG&hash=b399bdaa29b4049c7c523ee931ca91e0)
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and the 24" walleye only had one eye and it was a glass eye. . . . . . . . .
eye, eye, eye !!!
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*at Boy you *'ed up the *low!
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com'on Hollywood get it going again
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As I removed the tattered minnow from the hook- I thought of the classic line from Grumpy old men,"Looks like its time to take ol' one eye to the optometrist.".......
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He's winking at me, sending me a message
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..then he spoke and said "I know the secret for which you seek the answer!"
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I gazed into his one crystal eye and said; fish can't talk?
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You will have to set me adrift, for only eye can bring the future to bear for you."
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I then knew for sure what my wife had known all along. It was time for me to sober up for good. The homemade hootch had obviously killed at least one too many brain cells.
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I met more fishermen at my AA meetings than I usualluy see on the first day of trout season.
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So we all decided to go to the local pub one night after the meeting, to talk fishing.
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The bartender was a Pisces born today, St. Patrick's day, so I bought her a drink.
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As it turned out, Otter had pulled that eye out when I wasn't looking. He took it to the local bar where he presented it to the waitress saying, "I've got an eye for you"...
Sorry, that was bad ;D... I guess I'll not post to this thread any more to save you all some pain... :-X
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talking fishing at an AA meeting? let me guess, the most prominant fish discussed was the bottle bass.
HIMO
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I woke up with a terrible hang over and there were fish scales on the pillow next to mine.
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and roe all over the bed.......My god I thought external fertalization?
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Another potential hybrid muddying the waters of humanity? :o
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My mind was in a fog, I don't know how, but I ended out on a jetty, there were many fish being caught but they were all unknown to me.
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I had a strange urge for a mayfly omlet?
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On my way out for breakfast I decided to stop at the bait shop where I had purchased my bait before in hopes of finding another "One Eyed Jack", slim chance but worth a shot and maybe I could sort out the mental mess I was in.
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The man behind the counter who is a master at baiting
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Had a patch over one eye, a peg leg and had the name Pepe sewn on his dirty bowling shirt.
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I said "Pepe, that's french for Grandpa isn't it?" and he just looked at me. :-[
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Was doing his thing when he threw a clot and died of a massive stroke.
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I thought well I guess the bait is free then. As I looked in the tanks all the bait had but one eye.
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Question... Sure it wasn't an eel and not a minnow? ;D
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Where's Hollywood when I need him
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When suddenly in walked the owners stunningly beautiful daughter-a gorgeous lass even though she had an extra breast on her back-square between the shoulder blades.
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"Strange to look at-but a riot to slow dance with", I thought.
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And to my dismay, on it was playing Tube Steak Boogie
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so I changed the station and heard Bob Seager's Horizontal Bop, could this be another sign?
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Next up was Aerosmith's "Big Ten Inch" (record)
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The young beauty said "its not hard to figure out whats on your mind, how long has it been?
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I told her but, being deaf,she did'nt understand. C'mere,I said,I'll write it for you out in the snow.
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Just then my wife walked around the corner with the sherriff.
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She said, "Let me rephrase the question. How long is it now?"
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The Sheriff said " son, that's a major violation of the penal code".
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"All your minds are in the gutter, I'm just trying to get bait!", I said.
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Did you try Lazy Larry's Bait and Tackle down by the slough.
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He said " My NAme is Germ THe captain Ling Meister..What can i do for you ..? Aye you have the stench of One Eye!!!!!"
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What about the dead guy? I said.
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Don't touch him! The sweet lil thing with the extra boob said. Thats next years supply of spikes lying there.
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I noticed my wife and the cop filling out FORMS in the back room
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This really started freaking me out, I wanted to scream and run away, maybe move to Canada... then I woke up.
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and needed bait
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and decided to try out Lazy larrys and find Germ
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untill I noticed that my dog had mysteriously lost an eye!
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As I leaned closer to have a look I noticed a horrible stench coming from the empty eye socket and wondered what could cause such a thing.
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Don't touch him! The sweet lil thing with the extra boob said. Thats next years supply of spikes lying there.
I was surprised she even "uddered" a word. But the gap in the eye had me wondering
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Oneyed Jack called from the hole, "are you just going to stare or are you going to pass some more beer and plankton?"
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The minutes passed on like hours untill One final WOrd was Scream from my mouth ...ANd the WOrd i scramed was
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cyclopsidementalwastoid!
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I wanna catch a fish
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I just had a dangerous idea. You kinda inspired it with some of the inane comments that proceeded this post. What if we started a Short story thread where everyone contributed a sentence! Since I have invented this format I go first. Here Goes!!
It had been a long day on the water and I had just one minnow left, as I hooked it through the lips I noticed that it was missing an eye.
You really should read this little piece of history. I can't believe it's still here. Off topic in all its glory.
It's been nearly 15 years since anyone's seen or heard of Ole One Eyed Jack. Then one day after doing his chores old man periwinkle was stumbling along the river bank and nearly stepped on him. Drunk Again!