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Author Topic: "JOKES"  (Read 922 times)

Strike-Zone

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"JOKES"
« on: Mar 18, 2009, 03:20 PM »
                                       BANNED FROM WAL-MART

        This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart .

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out of the Store quickly. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:


Dear Mrs. Strike - Zone,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Strike - Zone are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. October 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. November 22: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

4. December 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.

5. January 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. January 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. January 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. January 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. February 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. February 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. February 17: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. February 22: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. March 5: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. March 9: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'


                                             And last, but not least .

15. March 14: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
Never Open a Can of Worms Unless You Plan to go Fishing!

 I may do Foolish things but at least I do them with ENTHUSIASM!

 SO MANY FISH ------ SO LITTLE TIME

icechunk

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  • The eyes have it
Re: "JOKES"
« Reply #1 on: Mar 18, 2009, 03:22 PM »
LMAO ;D ;D ;D
And God said "Let there be Fish"

rivercruiser

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Re: "JOKES"
« Reply #2 on: Mar 30, 2009, 10:22 PM »
Ways to get out of shopping.....hmmmmmm.LOL

infectedtoe1952

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Re: "JOKES"
« Reply #3 on: Apr 01, 2009, 03:17 AM »
this dad was out showing his kids how to fly a kite. everytime the kite started flying it crashed. the mom after a few too many crashes looked out and yelled looks like you need more tail. the dad replied thats funny last night you told me to go fly a kite !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 



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